We are all walking through life knowing that our feelings are happening almost all of the time, yet we have received very little education on what it means to actually feel them. One of the most critical skills we can learn for our well-being and emotional balance is to learn the art of feeling feelings.
At the first layer, to notice and acknowledge that something is happening within us is critical to moving through it. We might not even know what it is, but to notice something is going on within us, itself, is enough. We can then next see if as best we can, put that “something”, that “feeling”, into words using statements toward ourselves like “I feel angry”, “I’m feeling confused”. By putting these feelings into words, it can help our mind and our bodies develop the skill of responding to that feeling instead of reacting to it. Our bodies can give us hints to how we are feeling if we pay attention to the sensations in different areas. Sometimes an anxious feeling is tightness in the chest. Anger can be tightness in the neck. Stress can be tension in the shoulders. Joy can be warmth in the body or heart space. These physical indicators can help guide us to naming the feelings we feel and then help us learn to feel through them, by accepting that it’s there.
Without the acceptance piece of feeling our feelings, we undoubtedly try to escape, fix, or react quickly to whatever is arising, and this can prolong what is at times, a difficult feeling to accept. Of course accepting that joy, ease, and love are here is easy! But it’s learning to feel the most difficult feelings, that is the true test to developing a life and mind that is strong and agile. With enough practice, it is through feeling these states, that our love and peace in fact multiply and expand.